Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2015

[bluidkiti]

February 2

Quote of the Week

"The only thing we can take with us when we leave this world is what we gave away."


For years I thought the goal in life was to get as much stuff as I could. I measured my worth as a person by how much money I had in the bank, by how many books and cd's I had, and I spent endless hours shopping for expensive cars, hipper clothes and newer tech devices. I loved when the UPS truck came, and for a few hours I almost felt satisfied. I still remember, however, the moment I pressed the buy button on yet another Amazon.com order and thought about the package arriving and putting the new, unread books on shelf next to the other new unread books. In that moment, I bottomed out.

When I was new in the program, I was told that if I wanted to feel better, then I had to get out of myself by being of service and by helping others. While I argued that cleaning coffee cups and helping in the kitchen couldn't have anything to do with me recovering or feeling better, I did what I was told. Eventually I was instructed to sponsor and work with others. While I resented getting up early on Sunday mornings to meet with a newcomer before a meeting, I can tell you now that I always felt the deepest satisfaction and feeling of self-worth when I did. Finally I had found a way to fill the hole inside of me.

What I've learned in 14 years of recovery is that it's not about me. It's not about how much I earn, or how much I can get, or how much I have. Instead, it's only about how much I can give away. The truth in my life today is that I'm happiest when I seek to be of service; I'm less in fear when I'm thinking of others, and ultimately I know that the only thing that really matters now, and will matter forever, is how much I've packed into the stream of life. It's taken many years, but I finally understand the last line of the St. Francis prayer:

"It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life."