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Sponsors and Sponsees Help Forum This forum is to discuss any topics, questions or comments you have on sponsorship from How To Pick A Sponsor to When To Step Back and more.

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Old 10-19-2013, 08:33 AM   #1
bluidkiti's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 31,038
Default A sponsorship evaluation

I know that sponsorship is a huge responsibility.
I know that I have learned in my recovery to evaluate all my
sponsor-sponsee relationships.
With working with other folks,at least once a year,or any time
things get slow,or our contact slows down,we do a sponsorship
inventory.We look at both sides of things,and look hard at getting
stuck.We examine the whole picture.We check out:

A sponsor is an objective person on the outside looking in. Is what we are doing working?
Sponsors are able to see patterns that emerge and point out problem areas before the person sponsored gets into more trouble.Is your growth right now
acceptable to you?
Sponsors see how much a person has changed and offers encouragement along the way. There’s a 12-Step Program slogan that defines the need for a sponsor, "Other people see you better than you see yourself" Is this relationship moving you along at a rate that helps you or hurts you?
Sponsors generally stress accountability,without shame and guilt.Are you comfortable in your skin?
Sponsors help the people they sponsor stay focused on their recovery.
Sponsorship is a two-way street. It is a relationship built to help the sponsor and the person being sponsored; therefore, people who opt not to choose a sponsor, or later not to sponsor others, are cheating themselves and fellow human beings out of a great opportunity to grow spiritually and emotionally.

The second set of questions is about the honesty and open mindedness
that we need to keep going to keep it real.

I took this from a friend this from a friend,and still use it.

Your Bill of Response-ability as a Sponsor or a Sponsee

I have the right to earn my self esteem.
I have the right not to be shamed.

I have the right to be responsible.

I have the right to be treated with respect.
I have the right to say no and not feel guilty.
I have the right to experience and express my feelings.
I have the right to take time for myself.
I have the right to ask for what I want.
I have the right to ask for information.
I have the right to make mistakes.
I have the right to do less than I am humanly capable of.
I have the right to feel good about myself.
I have the right to act only in ways that promote my dignity and self-respect as long as others are not violated in the process.

I do not have the right to shame others.
I do not have the right to swallow my feelings.
I do not have the right for swallowed feelings to come out sideways on the innocent.

I do expect them to work with me.
What things that we have covered are not working for them?
What things have I done wrong,or at least not to there satisfaction?
What things could I change in my approach at there recovery could work
I do get my sponsees to communicate with others that have alot
of recovery,so if they want to change sponsors for there own growth
or comfort,because we all see things differently.
When I take this approach,and use there feedback,well,it really works.
Does anyone else have a similar approach?
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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