Quote:
August 01, 2014
Freedom from guilt
Page 223
"Our addiction enslaved us. We were prisoners of our own mind and were condemned by our own guilt."
Basic Text, p. 7
Guilt is one of the most commonly encountered stumbling blocks in recovery. One of the more notorious forms of guilt is the self-loathing that results when we try to forgive ourselves but don't feel forgiven.
How can we forgive ourselves so we feel it? First, we remember that guilt and failure are not links in an unbreakable chain. Honestly sharing with a sponsor and with other addicts shows this to be true. Often the result of such sharing is a more sensible awareness of the part we ourselves have played in our affairs. Sometimes we realize that our expectations have been too high. We increase our willingness to participate in the solutions rather than dwelling on the problems.
Somewhere along the way, we discover who we really are. We usually find that we are neither the totally perfect nor the totally imperfect beings we have imagined ourselves to be. We need not live up to or down to our illusions; we need only live in reality.
Just for Today: I am grateful for my assets and accept my liabilities. Through willingness and humility, I am freed to progress in my recovery and achieve from from guilt.
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This was difficult for me, especially as my son kept throwing things up in my face. I got relief, when I realized that I didn't have to pay for the rest of my life. I made my amend, I had changed, and the only thing I could do was live just for today, and not go back to the person that was. In order to do that, I had to stay clean and sober.