Smiling, I thought I was in control. It was a shock to learn that "If you have to control it, it is already out of control." I was in my denial about my alcoholism, even after being in the program. I knew I was an addict, no problem with that. My drug of choice was more, so at first, I just included alcohol with all my other obsessions. I had to get honest and address my alcoholism. I learned that my dad and my ex-husband were drunks, I was the alcoholic. I had the thinking to go with the drinking. It was about 2 years sober, when I had a dream and saw myself as others saw me when I was drinking. Not a very nice picture and someone who qualified to walk through the doors of AA.
