Addiction to Busy/Work
Was a workaholic for most of my life, always had to fill up my space with busy and other people so I had no time to deal with my issues. It helped me to look out and not go within. In other words, no substitutions, no bargaining, no victimization and going into the poor mes, no role playing, accept the fact that I have a problem and ask my God to change the thinking that goes along with the using. Quote:
Who am I to try to manage other peoples life when my own life is unmanageable, especially when managed by me. When I think of all the jobs I had, starting as a file clerk, receptionist, assistant accountant: accounts payable, accounts receivable, purchasing, payroll, collection of accounts, inventory, export documentation, secretary, and office manager. I told myself I had a willingness to learn, with no thought of the fact that I had to fill up that space, so I didn't think about my life and what was around me. I had trouble leaving work and not bringing it home. Many hours of over time, doing jobs for others, when a department was short, I was called in to fill the space, plus do my own work as well. I got to where I thought I knew everything, and I used work to find my self-worth and approval, because I couldn't find it within myself. |
Quote:
Being busy can be good, when I wasn't busy, I was using and living in a vacuum, with no desires, motivations or intentions. Yet even with the busy of today in recovery, I need to keep balance and recognize when I am replacing busy, to not look at my issues of the moment. Another blanket of denial that I can put on, to not face reality. |
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