May 16

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
--Doug Larson

Life is never just one thing. It is quite possible to feel optimistic and happy even when some things are not right with us. An optimistic outlook gives us energy to handle the harder things that we have to deal with. Research shows that people who have a positive attitude have a stronger immune system, are healthier, live longer, and are even more likely to recover from serious illness.

To believe in hopeful outcomes is largely a matter of choice. Many of us have experienced big disappointments and defeats in life. But having come this far, we can look back and see that somehow we had the capacity to deal with it. The Second Step guides us to believe in hopeful possibilities. We can't say that things will always turn out just the way we hope, but that we can cope with whatever happens.

Today I choose to believe that a power greater than myself can help me deal with life, and I have reason to be optimistic.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

May 17

Letting Go of Old Beliefs

Try harder. Do better. Be perfect.

These messages are tricks that people have played on us. No matter how hard we try, we think we have to do better. Perfection always eludes us and keeps us unhappy with the good we've done.

Messages of perfectionism are tricks because we can never achieve their goal. We cannot feel good about ourselves or what we have done while these messages are driving us. We will never be good enough until we change the messages and tell ourselves we are good enough now.

We can start approving of and accepting ourselves. Who we are is good enough. Our best yesterday was good enough; our best today is plenty good too.

We can be who we are, and do it the way we do it - today. That is the essence of avoiding perfection.

God, help me let go of the messages that drive me into the crazies. I will give myself permission to be who I am and let that be good enough.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

May 18

The process rather than the product is primary in caring, for it is only in the present that I can attend to the other.
--Milton Mayeroff

The moment that captures us now is all we have for certain. We can dream endlessly about next week and next year but there are no guarantees. Thus, it is important to care for ourselves and others in this moment. Have we expressed our love to any one of the many special people in our lives today? The effort is small and yet paramount in its impact on how the day unfolds for the givers and the receivers of caring words that inspire - words that speak of love.

Someone close needs our attention today - our encouragement, our inspiration, our recognition. And we need the commitment to focus outside ourselves if we are to discover the gifts promised us in each 24-hour segment of life. It is not coincidence that we feel pulled toward particular people - that we select certain groups to identify with.


Contemplative thoughtfulness about our presence in this time and place will assure us we are needed for the loving growth of many. The mystery unfolds by design.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

May 19

To err is human; to blame it on the other guy is even more human.
--Bob Goddard

We are on a path that leads us to become better people with greater insight and stronger character. A central theme on this path is learning to take responsibility for ourselves, our mistakes, and our choices as we deal with our situations. We can make progress on this path by noticing our defensive reactions when we make a mistake or when someone criticizes us. Our old ways were aimed at shifting the blame or counterattacking to get someone else off our case. Now we are learning how to take on the blame when it honestly belongs to us.

One of the first things we need to learn in taking responsibility is that there is no shame in making a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. But some people don't accept responsibility for them, and others do. We have much greater respect for someone who does. Admitting when we were wrong doesn't mean speaking in vague generalities, saying that "mistakes were made." It doesn't mean saying, "Yes, I did this, but only because you did that." It means saying what we did or didn't do and laying the facts out there for us and others to deal with. When we can do that, forgiveness almost always follows shortly.

Today I will hold back my defensiveness and admit the facts as they are.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

May 20

God hasn't called me to be successful. He's called me to be faithful.
--Mother Teresa

A reporter asked Mother Teresa how she could bear to go on working at such a hopeless task day after day and year after year. The people she cared for were so wretchedly poor. Many of them, very sick. How could she continue with such dedication, knowing that all the poverty and sickness would still be there long after she had died? Didn't she realize she couldn't win?

Her explanation was simple: Of course she knew the task was immense, but "finishing" wasn't her purpose. Mother Teresa had turned her life and will over to God, and her work was what she believed to be God's will for her. Because of this, she was devoted to the task itself, not to the completion of it.

We too can learn to be receptive to a higher purpose. We can direct our energies into causes we believe in, even if we know the job will never be finished. We can visit with friends and family and not try to win a verbal exchange. We can accept the will of our Higher Power and thereby find serenity.

Today, I will let go of the driving need to succeed or to impress others. Instead, I will be receptive to my Higher Power's will.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

May 21

We must continuously fine-tune our bearings.

No one can set sail and expect to forget the wind. First you stand in the open air, feel the wind touch your face, and take note of its direction and force. Then you set your sail to carry your boat toward your goal. And you continue to recheck the wind because it is ever changing.

We might wish we could nail down our achievements when we finally reach them, stop the march of time, or keep our loved ones safe where they are. Just when we think we have everything together, something changes. Children grow up, jobs change, new neighbors move in next door. Like a sailor, we must continuously fine-tune our life bearings. Whether a change is welcome or not, we must respond.

Our main choice is not what will change but how we respond. If we hold too tightly to willful thinking, we are not attuned. But if we make peace with change, we grow. We will be transformed into more than we could ever imagine.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

May 22

It took me a long time to realize that when I hate somebody it doesn't hurt them. Only me.

*****

Call your sponsor before, not after, you take your first drink.

*****

Nothing is so bad that relapse won't make it worse.

*****

I can't handle it, God. You take over.

*****

You cannot think your way into right actions.
You have to act your way into right thinking.

You are reading from the book:

Keep Coming Back Gift Book by Meiji Stewart

May 23

All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it.
--Samuel Butler

If we take time to watch animals, we see that they have a zest for life that seems to engage them totally in whatever they are doing. A cat chasing its tail, a dog going after a ball, a horse running along the shore, a dolphin leaping and diving - all are actions that reveal energy and delight in simply being alive.

Life, we say, is to be enjoyed, but how many of us manage to put this theory into practice? We often associate pleasure with guilt or with acting out or with hurting or being hurt, and so we stand back from the full enjoyment of our power to be really alive.

Letting go of our shame and feelings of unworthiness will help us to let go and live. If we can tap into the spontaneity that runs through the animal kingdom, we will rediscover the sheer joy of being alive.

I'll try to take time to watch animals at play and learn from their vitality and enjoyment.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

May 24

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.
--Ursula K. Le Guin

In the first phases of a relationship, everything is new and exciting. It seems as though nothing could ever go wrong.

Yet as we move out of this "honeymoon" phase of the relationship, problems begin. Suddenly we notice things about the other person that bother us. We seem to have more disagreements and more difficulties that take longer to solve. We may even silently choose corners, put up walls, and back away from each other.

It's easy at this stage to want to end the relationship. But now is when the outcome of the relationship is most critical. If we run away from renewing our love and rebuilding the foundations of trust and faith in each other, we will deprive our love of its nourishment for growth. Love takes constant work and needs plenty of patience. Each day can reveal a new layer of love; each stage in a relationship moves us to a new plateau. But only if we are willing.

I can look at my relationships and see the potential for growth. Help me renew my feelings of love through faith.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

May 25

Nobody can change my thoughts but me.

The first of the Twelve Steps asks us to admit we are powerless. Our first question might be, Why? Shouldn't we try to change the conditions in our lives? Shouldn't we try to influence others to change too? If we put ourselves in good hands in this fellowship, we will begin to appreciate Step One. We will begin to understand that we are indeed powerless over other people. We can plead, complain, shame, cajole, but we cannot force them to see as we see. We will also begin to understand that we are not powerless over ourselves. Not today.

It may seem simplistic to blame our problems on how we ourselves think. After all, others are participating in our lives too. But only we have the power to interpret the experiences we're having. And we can decide to accept every experience as an opportunity for growth and adventure, as God's will. The old-timers tell us that is what Step Three means.

I can't change anyone else; all I can change is my mind. I will carefully watch my thoughts today.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

May 26

The Enemy Within

Why do we self-destruct? The problem of evil has been with us ever since the serpent tempted Eve to eat the apple. We often feel at war internally, one self fighting another self.

There are forces that would have us abandon our program, and usually we find the temptation coming from within. We become careless, bored, lackadaisical in our efforts. Instead of disciplining ourselves to further spiritual growth, we rest on our oars and then wonder why we are drifting downstream!

Sane, healthy living requires that we acknowledge our spiritual needs. When our Higher Power is in control, we work for emotional and spiritual growth as well as physical satisfaction. Instead of being divided internally, we are integrated. The enemy within is subdued in the only way possible - by God's power.

Defeat the enemy within me, Lord.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

May 27

Change in all things is sweet.
-- Aristotle

Newcomer

I don't know why I'm still going through such emotional ups and downs at this point. I'm not in withdrawal, my body chemistry is no longer in chaos, and I know how to take better care of myself. I'm open to many new things, and I'm growing and changing faster than I ever expected. Why should I feel bad?

Sponsor

Each time I reach a new awareness, I have to go through a grieving process for the old me. Suddenly it feels as if I'm someone else, somewhere else. I'm not the person I was yesterday. Even if that person was less conscious and closer to active addiction, still, that person was the me I knew. Sometimes I miss that old familiar self. We'd spent a lot of time together.

Recovery awakens us to new possibilities. We have to change, experiment, take risks - even though we may think we detest change! Being alive and having joy sustains us. We may not have all the answers, but we want to ask the questions. Taking time for daily meditations helps us to find the peace and calm at our center. As recovery continues, the sense that everything is moving too quickly will slow down.

Today, though things may not be different, I am different.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

May 28

I can hear music...sweet, sweet music.
--Brian Wilson

We often find it helpful to think about the role music has played in our lives. Sometimes, it has been a problem for us - time spent listening to loud, blaring music was a time of physical and emotional isolation, usually under the influence of drugs.

In recovery we may find ourselves drawn to a different kind of music that speaks to our changing way of life. Perhaps it is more soothing or relaxing. Perhaps it is a new artist.

Whatever type of music we choose, we find it is much more than a pastime for us. It is an appreciation. Our favorite artists, our favorite songs - some never change, some do.

Our relationship with music is growing and changing. In recovery we find music engages our minds and relaxes our bodies in a new way. Music lifts our spirits, too. We are grateful that music is part of our life and that we now have a chance to think about it and perhaps even develop some new interests. Music is an excellent way to get to know other people; it helps us unwind after a hard day and adds a new dimension to our enjoyment of life.

Today I thank You for music. Help me to love and appreciate it even more now that I am sober.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

May 29

The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life, which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.
--Henry David Thoreau

Consider the young man who was doing great in his high school studies, then suddenly started to fall behind. One day, a teacher pulled the young man aside and asked him what happened. The student told him that he had asked his father for a car, and the father told him that if he earned the money, he could have one. The student, being industrious and hard working, went out, got a job, saved the money, and bought the car. But then the car needed insurance, gas, and maintenance, so the student kept the job to keep up the car. The job took up more and more of his time, until finally he began to fall behind in his studies.

"Why don't you just get rid of the car?" asked the teacher.

"Get rid of the car?" came the reply. "How would I get to my job?"

How often we feel that if we just get that new car, that new boyfriend or girlfriend, that promotion, or the condo in the good neighborhood, we will find happiness and contentment - only to discover that the thing just brings with it more pain, more costs, and more bother than it's worth. The new sports car runs only half the time, the new partner needs more care than your dog, the promotion eats up your weekends, and the new condo won't allow pets.

Things don't bring true happiness. Instead, they often sap your strength and leave you emptier than you were before. Think about the true cost of a thing before you pursue it in time, lifestyle changes, energy, maintenance and money. Can you really afford the amount of life that the thing will take from you in return for the happiness it brings? Are you willing to pay the price?

God, help me be aware of the true cost of the things in my life.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

May 30

We learn as much from sorrow as from joy, as much from illness as from health, from handicap as from advantage - and indeed perhaps more.
--Pearl S. Buck

If we or a loved one is suffering with a chronic or terminal illness or laid up from an accident, we may be out of work either because we ourselves are sick or because we need to function as caretaker. In addition to losing income, we're confronted by a stream of medical bills not covered by insurance. We may already feel completely overwhelmed by the illness or tragedy. How do we face the debt, too?

If we're emotionally overwrought because of a tragedy, we remember that the medical bills will wait. We have a responsibility to deal with them somehow, but our first responsibility is toward ourselves and to whoever is ill. We can only handle so much at a time. We allow ourselves to deal with our relationships and our grief.

Today I will live one day at a time.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova