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Some days the pain feels not acceptable, but it is often what I did or didn't do, that got me to where I am in today. It doesn't have to be prior to recovery, I am still human and can get in the way of my health and well being. I sometimes ifnd myself just sitting in it, accepting what it is, but accepting that there are things I can do to make it better. |
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It says to make an amend, except when to do so would hurt others. I also figured I figured into that equation. |
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Step Three in the AA Big Book, asked us to listen for the quiet and in the stillness say the Serenity Prayer. Quote:
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Tonight I am too tired and in too much pain to post. |
June 23 Surrender "We didn't stumble into this fellowship brimming with love, honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness....When we were beaten, we became willing." Basic Text, p. 20 Surrender may be the necessary foundation for recovery, but sometimes we fight it. Most of us look back after some clean time and wonder why on earth we fought so hard to deny our powerlessness when surrender is what finally saved our lives. As we recover, new opportunities to surrender present themselves. We can either struggle with everyone and everything we encounter or we can recall the benefits of our first surrender and stop fighting. Most of the pain we experience comes from fighting, not surrendering. In fact, when we surrender, the pain ends and hope takes its place. We begin to believe that all will be well and, after some time, realize that our lives are much better as a result. We feel the same way we did when we gave up the illusion that we could control our using-relieved, free, and filled with fresh hope. Just for today: Is there a surrender I need to make today? I will remember my first surrender and remind myself that I don't need to fight anymore. When I surrender I am empowered to do what I need to do to stay clean and sober. Just for today, I choose not to use, no matter what. |
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When I see the word "tolerance" I remember what I was told, "Be careful of what you pray for, you just might get it. If you pray for patience and tolerance, you get things to tolerate to test your patience on. We are all sick, me I was one of the really sick ones, and it took me a long time to recover from the insanity of this dis-ease we have. |
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What I didn't have was a lot of won't power. |
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Even my son, who is a self-admitted addict, who has been in treatment several times, quoted to me yesterday, "Nothing changes, if nothing changes." |
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When I need to freshen my recovery, I go back to basics. |
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