That G Word
 

Argue not concerning God.
Argue about other things.

Newcomer

It's obvious from what I hear people saying in meetings that God is a pretty important part of Twelve Step programs. What if I don't believe in God or a Higher Power?

Sponsor

We don't need religion in order to recover. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using our preferred addictive substance or behavior. To recover, we have to put down what we're addicted to, and we have to come to meetings. Not easy, perhaps, but simple and clear.

Whether or not we believe in God, Most of us recognize that we don't live entirely independently. The phrase "a power greater than ourselves," from Step Two, is a reminder to me that I don't run the universe. Whatever I believe about God's existence, I have to accept that I myself am not God - if I'm going to recover. I can't control my addiction on my own. Willpower stopped working for me some time ago; I owe this newfound willingness to recover to someone or something that isn't my intellect or will.

Those who reject traditional concepts of God can still point to something inside - what some call their "better self," their "sense of right and wrong," their "higher self," or their "spirit" - that got them here. The desire for wholeness has somehow proved stronger than the impulse toward self-destruction.

Today, I accept that I'm not all-powerful.

God comes in many forms, as I like to say, "God is as He reveals Himself to me in today." Even calling God "He" is an old tape, how do we know what God looks like and what form He truly takes. Another favourite of mine is, "I don't know who God is, so I will keep looking for Him." He just might appear in a form I didn't recognize and I might reject Him. I found that He also makes Himself known as a Group of Drunks, a Group of Drug Addicts, who carry me Good Orderly Direction to show me a new way of living.

When I surrendered to the program and surrendered to the fact that I was an addict, who used many things in her life, that the Spirit of God entered me, and I found a personal connection, that I never had with my God before. I always knew that Jesus loved me. I sang it when I was old enough to talk, taught Sunday School, sang in the choir, and dedicated my life to God at 18, but that didn't stop me from becoming an addict/alcoholic. It wasn't until I found the Spirit of the Fellowship and the principles of the program and applied them to my life, that I could stop and stay stopped.

My sponsor(s) and advisers were big support and helped me along my journey. One sponsor said, "I don't care who or what your God is, as long as it isn't you."

That Spirit connected me to that God that I knew created the world and made it go around. It wasn't some distant being out of reach. All I had to do was go within to find Him.

My sponsor told me that when she came into the program, her God was a Leprechaun sitting on her shoulder. I figure if she could stay clean and sober, at the time 11 years sober and free of a pot addiction, she may give me new insight into this Higher Power that they talked about in the rooms of recovery. I later learned that she was a Reiki Master.

I was told to look for someone who had what you didn't. She was on call for AA help line every night, she got me active in service too. Not just taking calls, but active in the rooms of recovery. If it wasn't for my sponsor and service, I don't think I would have stayed sober. I am so grateful for the newcomer who showed me that it isn't any better out there, and did my research for me.

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