Today's Thought - January
 

January 1

Every ending is part of a beginning. Every loss is part of an emptiness that can be filled with newness.

~Jan Lloyd

The door that is closing today may fill us with dread; however, we can find relief when we recall other endings that unexpectedly led to new friendships, better jobs, wonderful opportunities.

Life is a process. Every event in our lives is connected to what has gone before and what will come after. There are no real endings; there are only new opportunities for growth and change. For most of us it's a matter of changing our perspective. The difference is subtle yet extremely powerful, and our lives will never feel the same.

I look forward to these twenty-four hours! I can be glad for everything that comes to me, trusting in its blessing.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

January 2

I have one request:
may I never use my reason against truth.

~Elie Wiesel

Honesty with ourselves is a great asset in every situation we confront. The skill to look reality square in the face and call it what it is takes us a good distance toward coping with it. However, many of us also have the skill to spin or rationalize our actions so that we don't have to face something unpleasant. That skill provides us with excuses and evasions, but it is the greatest betrayal of ourselves.

When we use our brain to cleverly cover the truth of our actions, we often believe our own lies, and then they keep us stuck. Just as dishonesty builds and grows on itself, so does honesty. We cannot one day decide to be honest and change in a flash because we don’t see all of our self-deceit yet. But we can make the decision to be as honest as we know how. Then we will soon be surprised by how much is revealed to us as the fog of our self-deceit lifts and our honesty builds on itself.

Today, I will strive to see reality as it is and not shape it to suit my ego’s desires.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

January 3

AA Thought for the Day

We're so glad to be free from liquor that we do something about it. We get into action. We come to meetings regularly. We go out and try to help other alcoholics. We pass on the good news whenever we get a chance. In a spirit of thankfulness to God, we get into action. The AA program is simple. Submit yourself to God, find release from liquor, and get into action. Do these things and keep doing them and you’re all set for the rest of your life. Have I gotten into action?
Meditation for the Day

God's eternal quest must be the tracking down of souls. You should join Him in His quest. Through briars, through wastes, through glades, up mountain heights, down into valleys. God leads you. But ever with His leadership goes your helping hand. It is glorious to follow where the Leader goes. You are seeking lost sheep. You are bringing the good news into places where it has not been known before. You may not know which soul you will help, but you can leave all results to God. Just go with Him in His eternal quest for souls.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may follow God in His eternal quest for souls. I pray that I may offer God my helping hand.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

January 4

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.

~Antoine de St. Exupéry

Where do tears come from? Perhaps each of us has a private well where the tears rise from. Each of has our own landscape of events that have hurt us or given us joy. And so we have our own private responses to the world around us. Something may hurt one of us that would not hurt another.

Like the oceans and rivers, sometimes our well of tears is flowing. We do not always understand all the forces affecting the oceans, or our well of tears.

The kind of bucket that draws water from a well is solid and durable, and it lowers itself deep enough to find water. Good friends and family members are like that. It is comforting to share our private well with such people.

Who will I invite to drink from my well today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

January 5

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

~Step Two

In Step One, we accept our powerlessness over alcohol and other drugs. But we are powerless over many parts of life. We are powerless over other people. We are powerless over what our Higher Power has planned for us.

The Second Step directs us to believe there is hope for us. It may take time to believe this. Many of us had given up hope. But look around. Hope fills our meeting rooms. We are surrounded by miracles. This "Power greater than ourselves" has healed many. Listen as others tell their stories. They speak of how powerful this Power is. At times, we will not want to believe. This is normal. But in recovery, coming to believe means opening ourselves up to healing power found in the program.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, allow me to believe. Help me stay open to recovery.
Action for the Day

I will list three examples of my past insanity. I will share these examples with my group, sponsor, a program friend, or with my Higher Power. I will remember that I'm a miracle.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

January 6

Behind an able man there are always other able men.

~Chinese proverb

Most of us have had a strong desire in our lives to "do it ourselves." We have had the idea that strength and independence meant we should not rely on or receive help from others. Now, in recovery, we are learning a far more mature and time-honored principle. We find strength to develop to our fullest as members of a community. Maybe we never learned how to ask for help. Perhaps we haven't learned yet how to accept it. It may still be difficult to express our gratitude for the help that brought us where we are today.

In recovery, we get many lessons about these things. If we are actively growing, we will get help from others and give it too. The rewards of recovery give us ample reasons and opportunities to express our gratitude. We are no longer loners. Now we have a network of friends who truly enjoy and enhance each other's strength.

Today, I pray for help in learning how to share my strength and to appreciate the strength of others.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

January 7

Choose Your Circle

In some recovery communities, there is a saying that goes something like "Stick with the winners." On one level, I get it - it's intended to guide people seeking recovery to hang out with people who are already "succeeding" in their recovery. However, I don't like the implication that there are winners and losers in recovery. Recovery isn't about judging other people's recovery. Anyone seeking or attempting recovery is worthy of respect and support, regardless of what they achieve (or don't) through their efforts.

I prefer to focus on the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who have positive energy. Positive energy is supportive, uplifting, inspiring, and contagious. Creating or joining a circle of woman-identifying individuals whose energy is positive doesn't mean those individuals are perfect, consistently happy, or high achievers in all things. Positive energy also includes energy that is warm, forgiving, and compassionate. You will find your circle of women who are all of these things because you are a woman who is all of these things. Your recovery energy will attract your recovery circle.

As we choose our support system, so too do we choose our energy.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

January 8

Easy does it. Pushing does not help our program; it only causes more pressure within us. "If it doesn't work," we have thought, "get a bigger hammer." But if we only wait for the opportunity, we will be given the opportunity to work out each of our difficulties.

It is better to work out a problem by taking two steps forward and one step back, rather than to push and try to solve it at once, fail, and then stop trying. It helps to remember that we are never given more than we can handle, one day at a time.

Have I learned to take it easy?

Higher Power, I depend on you for my very breath. Help me realize that the more I depend on you, the more I accept your help, the more I can handle.

I will take it easy today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

January 9

My Takeaway and Excuse

Even before my first duty station, I showed up with a buddy, and we both must have smelled just like a brewery still. I think the drill sergeant made us do some push-ups and kind of laughed his head off and then, you know, told us to disappear.

I remember my takeaway from that was, Okay, so that means we can get away with it. I can get away with this. Even though the drinking age was twenty-one and I was still about eighteen, my alcohol use was laughed off instead of addressed head-on. I used that fact as an excuse to convince myself that it was all right to prioritize getting drunk over almost anything else.

On this day, I will stay accountable for my behavior and will not make excuses.

~Dennis D., U.S. Army, 1997–2003

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

January 10

Reflection for the Day

Every man and woman who has joined the program and intends to stick around has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn't it true that, in all matters related to their addictions, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of the program? So already a willingness has been achieved to cast out one's own will and one's own ideas about the addiction in favor of those suggested by the program. If this isn't turning one's will and life over to a newfound "Providence," then what is it? Have I had a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps?
Today I Pray

For myself, I pray for a life that is grounded and centered with my Higher Power. I thank my Higher Power often for the spiritual awakening I have felt since I turned my life over to it. May the words spiritual awakening be a clue to others that there is a free fund of spiritual power within each person. It must only be discovered.
Today I Will Remember

I will try to be Higher Power-centered.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

January 11

No decision has to bind us forever.

Most of us are no longer sure what we want to be doing a year or even a month from now. When we are called upon to make decisions that commit us to a certain path in the future, we shudder. Will we be allowed to change our minds?

What a change this is from earlier years. Many of us led very controlled lives. We felt safest when we knew exactly what we were going to do. We liked it best when we were able to control others' lives too, even though we failed at that much of the time.

Although we may have responsibilities at work and at home, we are so much freer now. And we can decide, moment by moment, what we need to do for ourselves. At first it feels irresponsible, not being responsible for everyone, changing our minds when we need to. However, we will grow into this new way of living. And we’ll love it!

My decisions today will be for this day only. I can change my mind tomorrow.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

January 12

We had developed a genuine relationship based on truth, not on the rules and roles that fathers and daughters were expected to play for each other.

~Stanley Siegel

Some of us have children in our lives. We may wonder when is the right time to come out to them or to let them know that we're in recovery. Shouldn’t we protect them from sensitive information that they may be too young to handle?

Who we are is apparent to those close to us. Children usually have an intuitive awareness of the truths that we may have taken elaborate pains to try to conceal, telling ourselves that we're doing so for their protection. There are no universal rules about how or when to come out to children and others in our lives; what’s appropriate varies from situation to situation. Often it's our own reluctance, rather than others' ability to hear and accept the truth, that keeps us from speaking.

When we speak the truth, we must be willing to listen to truthful responses. We can listen with understanding and acceptance even to negative reactions, knowing that what someone feels free to express can change. Rather than losing the people in our lives, we may be surprised to experience far greater honesty, trust, and closeness in our relationships than we had imagined possible.

Today, I have the courage to tell the truth in my relationships.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

January 13

Trusting Ourselves

Many of us believed that heeding the words of God or our Higher Power meant following rigid rules, an instruction booklet for life.

Many of us now believe differently. The rigid rules, the endless instructions, the exhortation to perfection, are not the words our Higher Power whispers.

The words of God are often those still, small words we call intuition or instinct, leading and guiding us forward.

We are free to be who we are, to listen to and trust ourselves. We are free to listen to the gentle, loving words of a Higher Power, words whispered to and through each of us.

Today, help me, God, to let go of shame-based rigid rules. I will choose the freedom of loving, listening, and trusting.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

January 14

Only those means of security are good, are certain, are lasting, that depend on yourself and your own vigor.

~Niccolò Machiavelli

What is our security based on? This is a vital, bottom-line question.

Security is a basic need of all humans. But as with all quests, if we look for the object of our search in an area where it cannot be found, we court certain frustration and failure.

Many would base their security on outside conditions. That is building our house on sand. Beauty passes, fame is fleeting, wealth can quickly evaporate, and health is fragile at best. What then is safe to count on?

Only one security cannot be taken away, and it resides within. Security based on our own belief in ourselves, in our ability not only to cope and survive, but to celebrate life is the only security that lasts. As hard as it may be for adult children to learn they can trust themselves, it still is the only lasting security.

My security rests on the gains I've made in the program. I've never had a stronger sense of self.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

January 15

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.

~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Hope and freedom and the right to dignity as a man are very personal things for every one of us in recovery. Regardless of our race or creed or ethnic origin, we are alike in that we are walking this healing path out of subjugation to addiction and codependency. Today is the birthday of a heroic man, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who dedicated his life not to his own self-interest, but to peace and the right of all people to be free. He spoke to all people who have struggled under a yoke of pain and trouble.

We must accept disappointments along our path. They are inevitable. We strive hard to achieve a goal, and it may slip from our fingers. We fall in love and lose the one we love. In the midst of disappointment, we may doubt whether we can handle it. But life goes on. We take our setbacks and ask, "What do I need to learn from this?" We don't lose sight of our long-term objective to become the best kind of man we can be and to live in line with our spiritual principles. That is the path to our personal freedom and dignity.

Today, I am grateful that those who have gone before us have shown us the path.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

January 16

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves.

~Will Durant

In our youth many of us heard from our mother or father, "If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all." We didn't practice this principle very well then, and many of us still don't. The real root of our struggle to speak well of others is the pain we suffer because of our low self-esteem, and diminishing another person's worth, unfortunately, gives us a moment of stolen satisfaction. But in reality, the illusion of elevating our own worth for that brief, hurtful moment dies quickly, and our remorse and shame linger on.

In God's eyes, we are all equal. To God, no one among us has more value than another.

Praying for knowledge of this understanding every day will relieve our compulsion to diminish someone else. And even more importantly, it will help us understand our equality and value in this living universe.

I will see worth and value in myself and everyone else today.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

January 17

Anger

I was angry with my foe. I told it not. My wrath did grow.

~William Blake

Anger is a common defect in our attitudes and personalities. Like all other character defects, anger grows more harmful the longer it is contained within ourselves. Unless we expose it freely for others to see, it can consume all our good intentions. We must "get the monkey off our backs before it reaches for our throats."

How can we possibly make peace and form worthwhile relationships unless we bring anger into the open by working Steps Four, Five, Six, and Seven? Letting go of hidden anger and returning to a stable state of mind is the first step in finding a comfortable peace with life. We find that "letting it all out" through the Steps is the way to become free and happy. We continue to take daily personal assessments of our spiritual growth by monitoring our anger.

When I become angry, I'll count to ten and deal with my anger in an appropriate way.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

January 18

All the fame I look for in life is to have lived it quietly.

~Michel de Montaigne

The desire for fame can often be distracting. We can be so busy striving to be recognized that we lose sight of ourselves. What comes to mind is what other people think of us; we defer to their opinion and neglect our own intimate view of ourselves.

Being well-thought-of is fine and good ... as long as we think well of ourselves. We need to tend our own garden and love what grows therein. Having it admired by the neighbors is nice but not always necessary.

A quiet life brings us into touch with ourselves. We come to realize how much we are worth in our own eyes. With this confidence in ourselves, we can reach out and love - not because we are empty and needy, but because we believe in our own uniqueness and value.

I resolve to seek quietness and the love that springs from self-knowledge.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

January 19

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.

~Lida Clarkson

We all want life to unfold according to our plan. After all, we are certain we know what's best for us. But hindsight quickly reminds us that few, if any, of us had included recovery in a Twelve Step program as part of our life's plan.

Yet here we are, and we are now more content than we've ever been in our lives. How did this happen? We have come to accept that God has worked in our lives in spite of ourselves. We have been protected and guided all along the way, even though on occasion we stubbornly attempted to force open doors that were not beneficial to our growth. Fortunately, our Higher Power never gave up on us. We will fulfill our purpose with all the help we need when the time is right.

Remembering that opportunities come to us when their time is right allows us to wait and trust.

My patience will pay off today. I can be certain that what comes to me today is on time.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

January 20

Learn by practice.

~Martha Graham

We were practicing addicts. We were working to perfect our craft; we were good at being addicts. Let us practice recovery with the same intensity. We need to practice the Steps. We need to work to deepen our relationship with them. We must practice patience and tolerance with ourselves and others.

Remember we're working to be in this for the long haul. We seek humility not perfection, progress not perfection. We seek to learn and better ourselves at being ordinary people. We seek to enjoy the journey, knowing it will never be over. And as we practice and learn, we step deeper into life and sobriety.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, each day help me show up for practice and enjoy the process of learning.
Today's Action

At the end of today, I will take some time and ask, "What did I learn today that will help me live a good, sober life? What will I practice at tomorrow?"

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

January 21

AA Thought for the Day

It’s been proved that we alcoholics can't get sober by our willpower. We've failed again and again. Therefore, I believe there must be a Higher Power which helps me. I think of that power as the grace of God. And I pray to God every morning for the strength to stay sober today. I know that power is there because it never fails to help me. Do I believe that AA works through the grace of God?
Meditation for the Day

Once I am "born of the spirit," that is my life's breath. Within me is the life of life, so that I can never perish. The life that down the ages has kept God's children through peril, adversity, and sorrow. I must try never to doubt or worry, but follow where the life of the spirit leads. How often, when little I know it, God goes before me to prepare the way, to soften a heart, or to overrule a resentment. As the life of the spirit grows, natural wants become less important.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that my life may become centered in God more than in self. I pray that my will may be directed toward doing His will.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

January 22

Then Bacchus ... gave him the choice of making a wish come true ... So Midas said, "Make everything I touch turn gold."

~Ovid

Poor King Midas, already rich as a king, was made poorer by his poor wish. Everything he touched: small shoots, wet clay, a ripe head of wheat, apples from a tree - all suddenly went bad, turned into gold, pure gold. And how could he eat when bread and fruits, even fresh running water, suddenly shined at him, yellow, hard, and cold? He could have wished for a wiser, smaller success.

He could have had all familiar things turn kind at his touch, or loving and good. Then imagine how he would have touched everyone he came near.

If some wishes are too good to be true, are others too bad?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

January 23

This above all: To thine own self be true.

~William Shakespeare

Sometimes we hear that we have a "selfish program." In our case, being selfish means that we ask for help when we need it. We go only to places that are safe for us, no matter what others are doing. Being selfish comes to mean safety for us.

Being selfish doesn't mean we act like brats. We must act in ways that show respect and love - for ourselves and for others. Being selfish means we do what is good for us. What is good for us? First, we have to save our lives by stopping our drinking and drugging. Next, we start working the Steps. We come to know a loving Higher Power. This is how we come to know our true self. And this is why our AA medallions include the words "To thine own self be true."
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me be true to myself and my values. Help me be "selfish" about spending time to talk with You each day.
Action for the Day

I'll list ten ways I need to be "selfish" in recovery. If I get stuck, I'll be selfish and ask for help.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

January 24

The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be either good or evil.

~Hannah Arendt

How often have we found ourselves in a predicament and innocently saying, "How did I get into this?" When someone has been injured by our actions because we failed to think about them, do we take the responsibility? If a friend is unfairly treated on the job, do we take a stand for him? When we know people are starving, what do we do about it? When our loved ones say they are lonely and wish we would talk to them, how do we respond?

In this program, we have chosen to live by our values. We cannot sit passively and fail to live up to those values. Each situation is different, so we must think about what is called for. When we do not think about our reactions, we are in danger of adding to the evil in the world. When we act on our principles, we feel more hopeful and wholesome.

Today, I will be alert to the difference between good and evil in my actions. I pray for the strength to take a stand.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

January 25

Never Question Your Worthiness

Brené Brown says that we all deserve love and belonging, and that our worthiness is our birthright. Louder for the people in the back: our worthiness is our birthright. I love how solid, simple, and complete that phrase is. We don't have to prove our worthiness. We don't have to hustle or fight for it. We are worthy just through the simple act of being born.

Those of us in recovery need to work hard to stop questioning whether we are worthy or not of ... anything. We deserve to be loved by our partner, our children, other family members, friends, and other important people in our life. We are worthy of forgiveness for what I like to call "the **** we did." We are worthy of respect and equality and health care and all the services we each need to heal. Don't question your worthiness, if you are still doing that. Just claim it.

Operating from a place of knowing we are worthy frees up a whole lot of time and energy.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

January 26

Changing our ways

We must be willing to grow in understanding. When we were using, we understood everything in one way, a way that caused us pain and misery. When we quit drinking or using other drugs, we began to see things in another way.

This new way of seeing things means we've had to make some changes in our way of living, and any new way of thinking means new ways of being. Are we willing to make the changes in our living that correspond with our new ways of thinking?

Am I changing my ways of living?

Higher Power, give me the courage, belief, and willingness I need to allow change to take place in my life.

One way of living that I will change today is...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

January 27

Family Consequences

My daughter was noticeably impacted by my drinking. She developed some anger at me for more or less emotionally abandoning her for all those years. One of the ways she coped with my drinking was to try and fix me. I'd be passed out on the couch, and she would go into the trash can and get all the empty beer cans, and lay them on my chest and spread them out. So when I came to, or woke up, beer cans would go flying.

That was her way of saying, Hey, go quit this ****. But thankfully, she's been supportive of me in recovery. That's another thing I have to be grateful for.

Today I will remember the past without regret, because I have made changes to stay sober today.

~Mike D., U.S. Marine Corps, 1970–1974

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

Janaury 28

Reflection for the Day

When we first came to the program, whether for ourselves or under pressure from others, some of us were all but sickened by the concept of "surrender." To admit to defeat flew in the face of our lifelong beliefs. And so we secretly vowed, at first, that the very idea of surrender was unthinkable. Have I truly come to believe that only through utter defeat am I able to take the first step toward liberation and strength? Or do I still harbor reservations about the principle of "letting go and letting God"?
Today I Pray

May I really believe that the complete surrender of my whole being to a Higher Power is the way to serenity. My Higher Power alone has the power to make me be and feel whole, so I can only be whole through my Higher Power. May I do away with any feelings of wanting to "hold out" and never admit defeat. May I unlearn the old adage that tells me I must "never give up" and realize that such pridefulness could keep me from recovery.
Today I Will Remember

From wholly one with my Higher Power to whole.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

January 29

We do not have to handle our problems alone.

Thinking that we needed no one's help made us feel strong and proud. We were capable, we were good managers, we had the answers. It's not easy to accept that our perceived ability to manage may well have been a facade for gross unmanageability and excessive control! Our attempts to handle the lives of too many people may have been our way of denying that other people had problems that were theirs to fix.

Help for solving problems comes wrapped in many dressings. Seeking help doesn't mean we have to let someone else force us to do something against our will. It does prove we're growing. We're learning that two heads are generally better than one, and we're coming to believe that wherever "two or more are gathered," God’s presence will guide us.

We no longer will have to handle our problems alone if we seek the steady, loving guidance of sponsors, friends, and God. The real gift is that we'll feel strong once again, and we'll know why.

I will feel strong and capable today if I am willing to listen to others and to God when I have a problem to solve.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

January 30

This laboring through what is still undone, as though, legs bound, we hobbled along the way, is like the awkward walking of the swan.

~Rainer Maria Rilke

How close to perfection will we have to come before we're satisfied with our relationships, work, and creative efforts? Some see every ragged edge, unsolved problem, or obstacle as evidence of failure. We may criticize ourselves even more harshly than we do others. We forget that we are works in progress, that our defects don't keep others from loving us.

None of us has reached perfection. Our journeys - including bumps and ruts in the road, including failures that have been our teachers - have made us more human, more compassionate toward others. We must view ourselves realistically and tenderly. To make mistakes is a part of our lives as they unfold and blossom. We can let go of the myth of perfection and begin to live with greater spontaneity and pleasure.

Today, I accept what's good, even though it may not be perfect.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

Janaury 31

Giving

Learning to be a healthy giver can be a challenge. Many of us got caught up in compulsive giving - charitable acts motivated by uncharitable feelings of guilt, shame, obligation, pity, and moral superiority.

We now understand that caretaking and compulsive giving don't work. They backfire. Caretaking keeps us feeling victimized.

Many of us gave too much, thinking we were doing things right; then we became confused because our life and relationships weren't working. Many of us gave so much for so long, thinking we were doing God's will; then in recovery, we refused to give, care, or love for a time.

That's okay. Perhaps we needed a rest. But healthy giving is part of healthy living. The goal in recovery is balance - caring that is motivated by a true desire to give, with an underlying attitude of respect for ourselves and others.

The goal in recovery is to choose what we want to give, to whom, when, and how much. The goal in recovery is to give, and not feel victimized by our giving.

Recovery includes a cycle of giving and receiving. It keeps healthy energy flowing among us, our Higher Power, and others. It takes time to learn how to give in healthy ways. It takes time to learn to receive. Be patient. Balance will come.

God, please guide my giving and my motives today.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*